Unexpected Inspirations

On my 10 minute break during my barista shift this early morn I stumbled across a newspaper strewn across the back desk.

What is that I said? Paper with words on it? About current events? Well, sort of current. Yesterday's events anyway. I haven't held one of these in a while.

And then, before I could go on any longer teasing the newspaper's continued struggled existence,  I was struck. Headline. BEDBUGS. BEDBUGS BEDBUGS. [that was the gist anyway].

Tid Bit #4666 - Not many people know, except for EVERYONE who was in my life about a 10 months ago. But I had a horrible incident with a bedbug outbreak in my [not so] lovely K-Town apartment right after I moved into [completely ruining my return to LA.] it in August [2009]. I was eaten alive. My building ignored us. I woke up next to a bedbug. The exterminator/inspector came. Claimed he found no proof of bedbugs. I cried. I started ripping off my clothes in a hysterical fit to show him the tell-tale bedbug biting patterns all over every bit of my body [apparently not enough evidence]. I cried more. We finally began the extermination process. Which includes drying [laundry dryer] everything made of cloth in your life. Then bagging it along with everything else you own. Throwing out your mattress. Proceeding to live out of said bags for 6 weeks (3 treatments every 2 weeks) because my building refused to put us up anywhere. Still having to pay rent there even though I spent most of my time staying with friends. And when I had to stay there, STILL being eaten alive. After the 3rd treatment we were recommended/I demanded a 4th [after finding a full grown bedbug on my PILLOW]. And when our building refused to give us any sort of accommodation [refuge] or compensation [I'd estimate damages at approx. $3000 for me & my roommate] we demanded to have our lease broken so we could leave this infested hell hole [what hell would be like. constant torment. always afraid. no way out.] and after much threatening of getting lawyers involved they let us go. They let us walk out of hell. Well stumble. Run & stumble. With only 6 days to get out. Never once letting other people in the building know that about 5 apartments were currently infested & being treated for bedbugs.

I digress. After reading this article. Seeing the pictures. The diagrams. My Vietnam like flashbacks ran spiders [bedbugs] up and down my spine. And when I got home. I cleaned. I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned my [not so] new apartment [that I've lived in since November 2009, that's never had bedbugs]. Never had I been so inspired to have the entirety of my life clean. clean. clean. [except for maybe when I had bedbugs].

Inspired.

Later today. Post Cleaning. I saw the Expendables.

I LOVE action movies. And this was Sylvester's homage to what action movies currently lack. 1990s style. And I loved every knife throwing, head removing, shotgun blasted moment.

While walking the [foster] dogs I turn to my boyfriend and say. "I know it was not the intention of the Expendables to make me think. But..." "Uh huh..." he waits expectantly for my ridiculous tirade about, well, anything. "But. They were the best you know. They were the best in the world at what they did. It may not be the best thing to be the best at, but, like, no one is better than them. And that. Is amazing."

To be the best at something. To be able to say you are better than everyone else in the world. To have competitors come knocking only to take them down. To simply have such great a passion about anything to do whatever it takes to be unsurpassable in doing it. That. Whether as an assassin or a psychologist or a president or a dog trainer or an artist or an anything is inspiring.

I truly believe that to be the best at something. THE BEST. Paramount. You have to love whatever it is you are doing. You have to enjoy it. You have to wake up dreaming about it to head out and do it. Love. Passion. Success. Tenacity. Fun. Life. Laughing. They are all intertwined.

So. Who doesn't want to be the best?

Expendables. You didn't mean to. But you sure made me want to be.

[ok. you may have also made me want to learn to box again, but, that's another post...]

Wasn't Lost but Found it Anyway.

I haven't used the 'stickies' application on my computer since the end of college. Today. I needed a 'stickie' so I pulled it up. What memories I had left sitting so close to me everyday that I had forgotten to remember.

Like finding a time capsule I didn't know I buried.

Besides 'stickies' upon 'stickies' of to do lists, goals, quotes & info I wanted to remember (some I do some I don't) I discovered a real diamond in the ruff.

My Life List to Do.

The most amazing thing reading it was, I could actually cross a couple things off I hadn't been able to before. Below I post my Life List to do with a few things newly crossed off & updated with things I've realized I want to do. Mostly for me so I have it safely stored somewhere besides my desktop but perhaps in reading it you discover there's something you never realized you wanted to do.

It's amazing what you miss when it's staring at you every day.

Take a beat [as director Rachel likes to say].


We I spend so much time planning for the future - don't forget it's ok to remember & reminisce in the wonderful moments of the past. For me, this list is a combination of both.

MY LIFE LIST TO DO:

Life List To Do: 

Run a HALF-Marathon

Run a Marathon

Get Scubadiving Certification

Visit all 7 Continents

Bungee Jump

Sky Dive

Go to the Superbowl

Swim with Dolphins

Swim with Sharks

Eat Pizza in Italy

Eat Baklava in Greece - Multiple Times. Yummy. Study Abroad in Athens August - December 2006

Sing in the Rain

Kiss in the Rain

Ride in a Hot Air Balloon

Live in Europe - Study Abroad in Athens August - December 2006

Float in the Dead Sea

Perform on Broadway

Direct on Brodway

Go on an African Safari

Sleep under the Stars - On the Beach in Malibu with Kelly Combs Fall 2008.

Make Homemade Ice Cream

Go to the Olympics

Go to the World Cup

Go to the La Brea Tar Pits

Go to SeaWorld

Go to an Airport with a Bag, Passport & Take the 1st Flight Available.

Share Spaghetti Lady & the Tramp Style

Visit 7 Wonders of the World

Buy a New Car 

Have my Portrait Painted

Go to Oktoberfest

Walk the Great Wall of China

Sing in the Mountains  [Sound of Music Style]

Sleep in a Hammock - Summer 2009 @ O'Neill Theatre Center

Drive on the Autobahn

Learn to say Cheers in every country I visit

Go through a Toll Booth & Pay for You & the Car Behind You

Learn to Drive a Stick Shift...Just in Case

Go White Water Rafting

Go Real Camping

Be on the Cover of a Magazine

Invent Something 

Write a Book

Write a Play - May 2008 : Playwrighting Class Final Project = Write a Full Length Play

Go to a Runway Show 

Run the Athens Marathon

Live Alone - November 2009 - Current. I <3 My Studio!

Host a Poker Night

Drink Frozen Hot Chocolate at Serendipity

Visit 10 of the Biggest Things in the World
               - #1 Visited World's Biggest Thermometer March 2008 w/Alex Lubischer

Go to the Macy's Day Parade

Go Kayaking 

Shave my Head

Be a Maid of Honor - IN PROGRESS for my best friends Mike & Olivia getting married May 2011

Run/Swim/Cycle in a Triathalon

Catch Fireflies

Buy a House

Go to Europe without a plan

Love Epically 

Have a Pet Hedgehog

Have a Pet Turtle

Write a Song on the Guitar

Host a Murder Mystery Party - Leslie's Bday Party November 2008

Cliff Jump in Hawaii

Be Serenaded

Get Married to 'The One'

Be a Mom

Work with an Animal Shelter - February 2010 - Current :: Social Media Manager & Foster Mama with Life4paws (life4paws.org or twitter.com/life4paws)

Go to a Sumo Match in Japan

Become a Certified Yoga Instructor

Place a $1000 Bet

Gondola Ride around Venice

Get in a Fist Fight (for a good reason)

Make my own Sushi

Go to the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras

Perform an Act of Guerilla Theatre

To Be Continued... 

I happened to say this earlier today before this 'Stickie' situation even arose. But...


I LOVE THE POSSIBILITY THAT IS THE REST OF MY LIFE. 


I'm not normally this overtly optimistic. 


I think I may like it.


[insert sarcastic comment here].


;)

Sleepless Dreams are Anything but Figurative

I had a very important audition last weekend.

One I've been waiting for for years (literally, I submitted for it in 2008).

Yet, the process of the audition made me less inclined to be a part of the project I so desperately desired.

Sometimes, the things you think will be are not what you thought. And that is good.

My life is changing yet staying momentarily the same. Stuck in the same pattern of events through at least July. I have promised myself not to commit to anything after July in order to create a moment for me. My mind. And to see. To see a lot of things both then, in the future & in me. 

There are a 1000 [figurative] things I want to do with my life. And what I am slowly discovering being slapped in the face with, is that doing one or two of the things I want may not allow me to do the 998 other [figurative] things I want to do before I don't have a life with which to do anything. 

At what point do you give up one dream to fulfill another. 

At what point does working so hard for one dream turn it into a waking nightmare. 

That is. When I get the chance to sleep long enough to dream. 

I'm not giving up. I'll never give up. On my dreams. But as I grow into my ripe age of 24.5, my dreams seem to be changing. Maturing? And really, the ultimate goal of life, my life, is to laugh. To be happy. To be stressed in a way that drives me. To try new things everyday. To make new friends and keep old ones close. To read. Everything. To learn as much as I can. To share. To feel [be] healthy. To love. To be able to stand in funny bendy poses unwavering. To make a big family. To take care of lost dogs. To take pictures. To dance. To love waking up in the morning even when it's too early. To sing. To not worry I'm missing out on one thing because I'm doing another.

To do 1000 [figurative] things.  

And the way my life is set up right now. It is all figurative. Not only my distant future but what I would like to do today. Tomorrow. This weekend. 

And I am tired of living a figurative life. I want a literal life. 

And that's what I'll have.

...

By the end of July. 

...Possibly early August. 

I [can] dream. Anyway.