JANUARY 23, 2009
Wednesday I went to Liquor Lyles. Alone. I went to a bar alone. Here is the question. Am I awesome because I was able to go sit alone and have a good time. Or am I an alcoholic? For now I'm going to believe I'm just awesome.
Sitting at the bar drinking my 2 for 1 alcoholic cider a guy starts talking to me from a few seats away. The problem is, I couldn't hear him. I think he may have actually started talking to me much earlier but his voice hadn't quite dropped yet. Finally I respond with a high volumed 'What'? After which he finally raises his voice high enough to hear. Ugh. I make friendly conversation until another guy sits down next to me. A much needed distraction from trying my best to hear what guy #1 has to say about making clothes in his friend's garage, I'm already a little deaf people come on. Ever wondered why I talk so loud, I blame it on theatre & projection, nope. Just a little bit hard of hearing. I'm going to be a great old person.
#2 Sits down & orders up "the cheapest beer" which I mock inside my head. But apparently louder than normal because he turns to me & says what. Then I think, maybe guy #1 hadn't been trying to talk to me, maybe he was mocking me under his breath. Hmmmm.
#1 Attempts to not so nonchalantly gets annoyed at the beginnings of my convo with #2. I pretend to not notice. He begins to talk louder. Finally. I see what it takes. It doesn't take me, it takes a sword fight.
Out of no where #1 has a friend appear. His friend, #3, who belongs to the garage in which he makes clothes! He is what some people refer to as a wingman. He was a little late. If they had been flying the nazis definitely would have shot them down. Although, in this scenario I'd gage them more on the nazi side of the situation. Snoopy would have got them for sure.
Here is where the game begins. The game. As in that which boys play with girls & against each other. Someone wrote about it in a book. It's called the Game. Inventive. Thank you male species for all you do.
#1 continues to talk to me. I continue to nod because I can't understand the words coming out of his mouth. Occasionally I say. OMG. It adds a certain, i care what you're saying quality that nodding alone doesn't. #2 continues to talk to me. My mind does not function on this many levels. Especially having only had 1 round of 2:4:1s. Then it gets complicated, because #1 begins to talk to #2.
#1 has on a hat. It says Sabor. The name of his clothing line he makes in his friend, #3's, garage. #2 says, "cool. i love his work." #1 says, "thanks. made it myself." #2 says "ummm. I meant Sabor. The artist." #1 says "who?" #2 says "the famous graffiti artist. he has world records and shit." (#2 was a little ghetto. but in a white community college way.). #3 jumps in - "no man that's our clothing line." #2 "well you better get on google because that name is taken, yo." Swords collide!
A VISUAL:
The set up is like so:
#2 ME #1 #3
Like Jeff Goldbloom* in Jurassic Park, i stay perfectly still. And when they are distracted by each others pheromones i slowly back away. Literally. I leave. I go to the bathroom. I slowly reapproach because despite the idea of having to face #1, #3 I did enjoy the company & mildly witty banter of #2. I arrive and find my seat next to #2 occupied by #3. They are talking business. Garage clothing copywrite name stealing business. They welcome me back. Well #3 doesn't. #1 does. I think. I couldn't hear him. And #2 thanks me with his eyes. I lean into the bartender and request my check because even for a swf on a Wednesday night alone at a bar this has become a little too much. I peace/'SC fight sign #1, #3 who may have said goodbye but A. Only dogs could hear it and B. I was walking away. #2 follows me out and walks me to my door. Which is next door. It was a short walk. We hug. I get his phone number. That order may have been reversed. And as I go to save his number I realize something. I realize I have no idea what his name is. And let me tell you. It is way too late to ask. There's a time period during which it is ok to reask someone's name, but after all he & I had been through tonight sword fighting #1 & #3, the proverbial parrying we had each performed for the other. It was too late. Thus he became known & will henceforth be referred to as Graffiti. No Last Name.
Conclusion:
Drinking alone at a bar. Ok. As long as you know how to sword fight. And mock people silently in your head. Not silently in the way that you think you aren't saying it out loud but you actually are. Unless of course you're mocking someone cute. Who can graffiti your name on a cocktail napkin.
AN UPDATE:
Graffiti and I met up the next day for coffee. I went in nameless & used every tactic I could to get him to say his name. Including talking about myself in the third person so he'd know it was ok to do the same.
About 45 minutes he became known as SBrandt. Last name: Graffiti.
*(ok. fine. it was Sam Neill. Jeff Goldbloom wasn't even in the scene. But his name has greater dramatic effect.)
No comments:
Post a Comment